“You're watching yourself but you’re too unfair”

You’re not alone

I recently read an article in Edition Dog titled “Pipeline of Behaviour” by Emily Bright it deals with the question “Does human anxiety cause behavioural problems in dogs?”

This got me thinking about the anxiety I see in my clients and their dogs.

If you’ve met me you probably have realised that I’m a bit mad. Outgoing, bubbly and full of fun which allows me to be an approachable and friendly teacher.

However, I have struggled with this since I was 11 and it has impacted every element of my life. Of course there have been highs but there have been really low lows too. And that’s ok. I still struggle with this daily. I am constantly working on my mental health, my acceptance and how to be kinder to myself.

I have clients that come to me on the verge of a burnout from the pressures of day to day life, at the end of their emotional rope, feeling like a failure and completely lost. Some have been to other trainers and for some I am the first trainer they have used.

Life is full on. It’s fast paced. There is little or no downtime now we are all avaiable 24/7. Social media connected us all but also robbed us of our time. Family time, alone time, time to just be.

I feel the pressure to be avaliable at all times to everyone. This is often at expense of myself. I know I am not the only one. When we think of how much we fit into our daily lives is it any surprise that we can start to struggle?

The article states “Owners with anxiety themselves may also have a greater self-awareness of their emotional state than people who do not identify with having anxiety. This awareness may make anxious owners more accurate than non-anxious owners in percieving anxiety in their dogs.”

I see this reflected in my clients and their dogs. Sadly many clients believe that they are causing anxiety and problems in their dogs. Which then creates a feeling of guilt, a failure or shame. We as caretakers of our dogs need to be kinder to ourselves. More forgiving. Acknowledge that this is a journey not a destination and that by working with your dog a more co-operative and supportive relationship.

My life experience greatly impacts the method and application of my training style. Preferring to reflect a relaxed training atmosphere, allowing me to adapt and alter sessions to what the dog (or the owner) need at the time.

I have had people come for gundog training only to realise that we need to look deeper at the emotional state that both they and their dog are in and how we can support that learning and growing together. Likewise I have brand new owners suffering with data overload from the wide variation of beliefs and styles listed on internet sites/books/tv shows.

Even as I write this I am internally thinking of all the things I should be doing. Or what mistakes I have made in my training with my dog. I cannot change the past. I can only learn from it. Dog training has made huge strides in the very recent future and we are finally seeing a greater shift to acknowledging our dogs as sentient beings. It may surprise you to learn that until 2022 animals were not recognised in law as having feelings; for example joy or pain. It may seem unthinkable to many of you that this really needed to be written in law to be accepted but that’s where we are.

I’ll end on this note:

There is no one way of training. There is no training program that will suit every dog. The best advice I can give when looking for a trainer is to visit a class or have a 1:1 session with them. Get a feel for what their training style is like and how alligned their methods are with what you are wanting to achieve. You know your dog best. There is no right choice. Only what works best for you. Be kind to yourselves, accept that “mistakes” as gaining knowledge/information to help you in the future and remember you can always change the path you follow.